Minestrone

Kids, back in 2012, your aunt Robin wanted to do something more with her life. So she took her love of guns to an organization called S.H.I.E.L.D and fought alongside the Avengers.

Now, your Uncle Barney and I took it pretty hard; she was getting to spend a lot of time with another billionaire playboy, this guy named Tony Stark. Your Uncle Barney almost went crazy when he found out the guy had a metal suit.

“It shoots fireballs, Ted! He looks like a freakin’ storm trooper!”

Then your uncle Barney decided to fight back.

And Lilly showed up and was like, “I’m in a Joss Whedon thing too.”

But anyway, I met your mother through a mutual friend.